Loving Life: Taking Time to STFU

Have you taken a moment to just breathe and not talk.

Not only not talk, but take time away to say “fuck it” and do something alone.  For me, it’s often reaching for my iPod and drifting off into some daydream minus everyone.  I can’t tell you how much music influenced me as a child, or even a teenager, but only to say that I cannot function daily without a dose of my favorite genres, songs and artists.

Sometimes I drift off and wonder what would have happened if I would have pursued something different like writing full-time.  I never wanted to be a journalist, I wanted to write introspective books about growing up half-minority/half-misunderstood, express my views on spirituality, the Divine and what I believe God looks like,  I wanted to be a graduate with a doctorate in linguistics and talk about my favorite pop culture items on VH1 specials as a commentator.

I wanted to host a Food Network show, I wanted write about food like Nigella Lawson.  I wanted to create musical landscapes like Bjork, I wanted to tour the world and produce black and white documentaries about food, cultures, underground clubs and liquors and lured me into their intoxicated presence and tell me everything was going to be okay as soon as I returned to my hotel room somewhere in Paris or Milan.

I wanted to write for Interview magazine and ask Karl Lagerfeld why he always wore a collar and how he ended up being so mysterious for doing nothing more but giving Victoria Beckham inspiration for having continuous bitch-face even when shes’s happy.  (Karl definitely had it before her, let be real.)

As I listen to music, I’d often walk in a trance thinking that maybe, just maybe I’d meet someone gorgeous that sang in En Vogue, or become best friends with Mariah or ask people like Robyn and Tiga why they’re so well-known in clubs, but not in the US media.  I want to give mad respect to Kylie Minogue for maintaining being a class A diva in Europe and the rest of the world.  She became the opposite of Madonna: someone that kept her clothes on and sang pop. She wasn’t always trying to be a ballbuster.

Then, my absolute favorites like Madonna, Billie Holiday and Amy Winehouse come on and I want nothing more than to lay on my bed in the mid-afternoon and just soak in the cerebral sounds that bounce from ear to ear as I skip the next track and wonder why everyone didn’t listen to what I listen to.

Yes.  This is what happens when I take the time to shut the fuck up and just relax with my headphones on…

xox- j.


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