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Monday Night: Cut Throat Fuckery

MONDAY, 3 AUGUST 2015 —

Today was a Monday like no other.  I tell you what: no matter how early I get to work, it can’t be early enough.  I have so much to do when it comes to starting a new week and then add end of the month and first of the month work to my already full schedule and it’s absolutely non-stop all day.  Who wants a lunch period? Not me.

I had a gentleman walk into the salon today looking to book his wife an appointment with me.  He and his wife remembered from my days working in a large commission salon.  Their stylist has supposedly left and the salon will not let him or his wife know where the stylist has gone.  I could be a total shark and book his wife, but I let him know that I have seen his stylist on Facebook and in passing over the past couple years.  I want to be ethical and locate his stylist because I feel like that guest belongs to her and the big, bad salon has a big, bad policy to not release her information.  I think its kind of fucked up actually.  You work all this time building a following so that when you leave a location some dickhole front desk staff can tell you that he/she can’t tell you where your hairdresser has gone.  It’s a mess really.  I believe there’s enough to go around, why must big salons be so damn stingy?

Tonight, I came home to see that the Best of Pueblo nominating process has started.  I have to be honest: I have won twice and it feels pretty fabulous, but last year really soured the experience for me.  I was told by a little birdie that a lot of the winners were determined by advertising dollars spent, not actual votes.  I was also told that my votes were bought out by someone.  How can you do that? Evidently, its by promising a year of ads in your shitty paper that only old people read.  People read blogs and digital news feeds now; very few people want to read a paper that has a handful of writers and a bunch of cut and paste Associated Press articles.  I guess I just don’t understand bribery and arrogance the way I used to.  The vengeance in my veins after last year’s shut out came out in my comedy as I roasted the asshole people dubbed Pueblo’s Best Stylist. He laughed, said it was hilarious and said he was surprised I wasn’t nominated.  I said, “I know, you asshole.  You stole my award.”

As a result, I made a vow NOT to campaign or release a press release online promoting the blogs or the salon.  If I get short-listed, that’s cool, but I’m not counting on it after last year’s Twitter, Facebook and comedy outbursts issued by yours truly. Just being real.

The way I feel about awards is that they’re very nice.  I enjoy winning them.  I also enjoy genuine people and genuine voting. When people start throwing money for a plaque they basically bought or have all twelve of their staff members sit on their iPhones and hit “resend” with the salon owner’s name in the fill-in blank, I don’t consider that a true win.  I consider that asshole behavior and you should be called out for being a selfish son of a bitch that needs validation by bullying your staff into voting for you.

Is it too late to ask you to vote me Best Blogger or Best Stylist now that I’ve purged my disdain for an award I would secretly like to have? I have two hanging on my wall, two more would be nice.

Ton

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