SUNDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER 2015 —
Today was the day that Chris went back to work. He had a staff meeting today and that’s it. It’s been a three-week stretch of not being at work, but he was nervous. I have never been in a position where I didn’t work for a that long of a period of time. I have worked non-stop since I was sixteen years old and so a leave-of-absence is foreign territory to me. I woke up this afternoon about 12:00. It has been years since I have slept in until noon, but I feel like my body is finally catching up with the emotional fatigue that has been in my head. I have been so worried about Chris that is had begun to affect my emotions. I could cry at the drop of the hat more now than ever. I am hoping that returning to work will be the medicine needed for him. It’s been a stressful three weeks and the emotions have run the gamut. Today my friend text me and wanted me to meet her, but I really just don’t have the mental capacity for conversation. Maybe after I blog, but I needed the moment of silence at home to just chill and get my thoughts back together.
It turns out that Damentia Madrilliano is very popular! Last night, Chris dressed up in drag as I napped on the couch. I awoke to my bubs walking around in full-face make-up, untucked and asking which wig he wanted me to see him wear. I was happy to see him getting some energy out by dressing up once again. He said, “we don’t have to go out if you don’t want to.” I actually didn’t mind the thought of going out. A little vodka never hurt anyone!
This weekend in Pueblo, the annual Chile-Frijole Festival was going on. Our apartment is literally barricaded by food booths, vendors and stages for performers as people with walkers, strollers and bad shoes walk the streets gawking at all the chile, the bad-for-you food and other passers-by. We walked down the street, me with sleepy eyes and Damentia trailing behind. Her lips were on point last night and those titties were bouncing! People would look and people would comment and my psyche at the time was just to enjoy the evening. I told Chris, “people are looking at how good you look”. Frankly, if they were being shady and rude, that’s on them. I don’t have time for negative bitches. You see a drag queen, compliment her look or don’t look. That’s how I feel about it. We walked into the wine bar where a couple women poked at Damentia’s boobs and wanted to take pictures.
We sat at the bar and had a couple of drinks. A few more people came up and complimented us and a few groups came in and made comments under their breaths and stared. At one point there were three groups of people that were bothering me and Chris by simply being there so we stepped out for a cigarette where a Cholo came up to me and asked me to dance with him in some slurred Chicano speech. I politely said, “no thank you, we tore it up last night!” and went on with my cigarette.
Chris and I went back in and sat down. The three groups of people gawking had taken off and we continued sipping our drinks. About thirty minutes or so went by and Chris said his tuck was bothering him and we came home briefly so he could change. We came back. This time around, Chris sat back at the bar and still had on full-face make-up and women were still coming up and asking him for make-up tips and complimenting him. I sat there observing and want so much for normalcy to return to our home.
An hour later, we came home and Chris fell asleep next to me on the floor of the living room. I woke up this afternoon at 12 to him making Cup Noodles and him greeting me. “Morning bubs!” — we’re back to normal.