Monday Night: What I Believe


I like to get online and look at the webstats on the blog from time to time and see how each blog performs with readership.  One noticeable jolt in ratings is anytime I write about something salacious like an outing that went awry or an opinion I may have of a business or person in the community without naming them (its funny how they always call themselves out by sending me dirty emails), but another thing I have noticed is that the lowest-performing blogs have to deal with any kind of spirituality that I talk about whether it be observance of Jewish holidays, Kabbalah study or even energy work.  People tend to read the first paragraph and as soon as I begin to get deep about anything spiritual, they stop reading. So, below, I have decided to write a short essay about what I believe, how I believe, what I study and hopefully that will clarify a bit of why I say the things I say and why I act the way I act and write the things I write from my point of view:

I think a lot of people have an opinion of what a “spiritual” person is. Some think its someone obsessed with self-help books, some think its acting as if Sanskrit writings and music inspire them as they pretend to meditate each morning, my grandmother would tell you that “spiritual” is a “new age” believer (that’s not a compliment from the devout Christian woman she is).  I would tell you that a spiritual person is a person that believes in the world outside of their physical body and the material world (aka metaphysics).  I believe that every action has an opposite and equal reaction (that’s physics), I believe the soul drives the body, I believe the body is a mortal vehicle, I believe people effect the energy fields they wish to co-exist in and I believe that words are a source of power.  My idea of being spiritual is knowing that Light and Dark exist in this world and that it is not our job to discern Light or Dark for others, but to lead by example.  Whether you choose to breathe in 13 times a morning and hum “om” for an hour or you open a spellbook, you are interacting with a spiritual world that you have somehow come in contact with or wish to stay in contact with because it effects your material existence.

I had a moment today where I held Chris and prayed quietly asking The Creator, The Universe, the Divine being to bless his mental state.  I held him in my arms and imagined what color his energy field was.  I saw red, I saw a full dissonance.  As I held on to him, I imagined what color would counteract red and could feel the energy shift and change.  As I held him, my body became shaky and I started to cry.  I felt as though I released a part of him that needed the outlet of crying.  I felt his sadness, I felt his pain and I felt his energy field vibrate with mine.  It sounds hokey to some and it sounds like chakra work to others, in any case, it can be seen as both.  I looked at him and stopped crying and realized there was an energy that needed to be released into the world on his behalf.

Close friends of mine know that I believe in “energy work” and I believe each person has zones in their body that sometimes get constrained and do not flow well.  Reiki practitioners also believe this.  Those sensitive people can tap into a spiritual blockage and release that energy.  The person Reiki is being performed on sometimes cries or feels ill or tired.  Any kind of release is a release that has been altered or promoted by the specialist assisting.  I believe that “energy work” is coming in close contact with someone and changing their energy field.  I also believe that it is non-verbal. I think people who come into your energy field rub off on you and when negativity is allowed to grow, it becomes a cancer in the spiritual world.  The person with “Spiritual Cancer” lives in a world of uncertainty, doubt, hate and fogginess.  Hypersensitive folks like myself are prone to feeling this in-depth energy and make it our mission to absolve the sadness, anger or doubt of the person affected and try to help them release it through either energy work, chakra meditation or even praying for the person intently with our minds “zoned in” on the place of hurt.  Some people would even say that a conversation over coffee with a good friends is energy work and I would have to agree as well.  If you took your friend’s hand, held it tight and listened to them and decided that his or her problem was also your problem, THAT is energy work.

This morning, I woke up, lit incense and meditated in silence.  I smelled the rose-tinged ashes in the air and looked at my book of Hebrew letters.  There is a code of letters that corresponds to an “Angel” or “energy” for each day in a Kabbalah book I picked up years ago at the recommendation of my Kabbalah teacher and each morning I sit, scan the letters and look into the mala beads I press in between my palms and smell the incense and try to regain a new thought for the day.  When someone makes me angry, I return to the same place I return to each morning.  This energy envelopes me and I feel as though nothing can bother me.

I wear a Hebrew medal around my neck that some clients and friends have noticed through the years.  The Hebrew letters Lamed-Aleph-Vav serve as a Hebrew protection against people, energy and even negative thoughts.  In deep times of peril and mental strain, I look down at my chest where the medal hangs and recite a Hebrew prayer.  That gives me comfort. I return back to the place filled with rose incense and calmness of a new morning.   I had to access that place a couple of times today.  I sometimes say the same prayer when I walk home alone or when I open the salon.  I want nothing to do with negative energy or the people that create it.

Tonight as I watched TV, I began to think back to my Kabbalah books I opened thirteen years ago.  I also thought of my meditation and study of Tibetan Buddhism I studied in my early twenties.  This afternoon I reached for one of the many selenite crystals I keep around.  In Crystal Therapy, it is said that selenite increases your angelic influence and psychic ability.  I needed every angel, every essence of pure Light with me today.  When I was going through my last break-up, I slept with crystals on my forehead and on my belly to calm me.  I would say my Hebrew prayer and drift to sleep.  I learned to eventually sleep without them.  I now keep a selenite crystal with me in my home and business at all times and throw one in my bag when I’m traveling.  I often carry my daily prayer book (all written in Hebrew) and wear my medal.

For me, this works.  This is my way of staying connected to the spiritual world.  Deep down, even in hard times whether emotional or logical, I know everything will be alright and I know that at any moment I can return to the moment I wake up, light incense, greet the day, ask for protection, ask for an Angel to lift the energy and carry on.

For me, this works. I believe we all have a unique connection with a Divine energy or with the world as we know it.  Mine is in the form of letters and words and channeling energy levels.  Some people think I’m full of shit, but deep down I know they connect in their own way…and that’s okay.


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