Sunday, 22 November 2015 —
It has been two weeks since I last wrote a blog entry. I have to say that I have missed it incredibly. I love writing and over-sharing my life, I really do. I have two circumstances that can keep me from blogging: overworking/overcommitting or not feeling emotionally happy enough to write. I made a rule along time ago to never write when I was pissed off or irritated at someone because I can see myself taking out all my mental shit on that person or people when I’m writing. Occasionally people will bring up a few “cryptic” paragraphs they read when I say, “a friend of mine” or “a business owner I know.” I actually write that because I’m protecting the person and I frankly do not want a lawsuit on my hands. My first blog, “Pretty Boy Education” was the ultimate tell-all expose about me leaving my first salon and how I felt about the ownership and people that worked there. It was a mess when I left as I had found out the staff had printed out the blog and read it to clients and to each other when I left that salon. They sent me horrible texts, my ex was the leak, and the owners (that were my friends at the time) threatened to press charges. What are they going to pursue? Defamation of character? It’s my view of the world and my world at that time was filled with a tremendous amount of ego.
What I find works best now in my life is to pull away from blogging when I am upset. I wish I knew how to keep my mouth shut sometimes. I just don’t know how to. I tend to be a bit of an attention whore. It’s in my DNA, what can I say?
Today it is absolutely pertinent that I go grocery shopping. We have like no food in the house! It’s been an intense couple of weeks on a personal and professional level and I have not taken the time to get my home in as much detail orientation as I tend to keep it. That, in and of itself, drives me fucking bananas! I woke up this morning and cleaned the house a bit and sat down to read the New York Times. A little social media is all I am compelled to these days as I’ve found that I am growing tired of people and their bullshit… including my own. Blogging was my original outlet and I used to use Twitter and Facebook to promote the blog (I still do). I feel as though I need to withdrawal back to the days of email and just blog and email and check the social feed maybe once a day. There’s not much serving me anymore on these apps. It’s sad, really.
Last night, Chris and I got home a little after 2:30. He has been bartending on Saturday nights and last night he ran all around The Senate rocking liberty spikes and working his ass off. I went in earlier and had a patty melt, brought back some food for later and read the Zohar a bit and watched cooking shows until I went back to the bar about 11:30 and waited for Chris to finish his shift. He’s really very good at bartending. I enjoy seeing him work. As I sat there sipping my Crown & Coke, I became bored with alcohol. I’m bored with alcohol the way I’m bored with drama and social media. Maybe it’s time to look for some new hobbies, not sure yet. I think this sudden chill of cold weather has awakened my own chill spiritually and mentally to the world. I see so many great people and so many great things and somehow trip on all the negative events and the people that don’t seem to have my back. Maybe a hobby is not what I need, maybe it’s a new group of people to hang out with.