a year in my life, Uncategorized

Wednesday Night: Not So Bad

Wednesday, 02 December 2015 —

This summer, about two weeks before my birthday, I had a major make-over of my “team” and the people that make my world go round.  I fired my housekeeper and my assistant went her separate way to a job that offered her more hours.  There was a bit of gossip swirling around at that time about me and another business owner in town.  My housekeeper at the time was working for her full-time and my assistant went to help her on days she was not working in the salon.  I think I had a moment in time where I had tunnel vision and only thought everyone was out to get me.  I also feel as though I said goodbye to a person that needed to be cut away.  I do miss my housekeeper, but I’m glad to have some sanity cleaning my own home.

When I went on cleaning my own home, I went on to housekeeping my finances and salon.  I added a new stylist, Chris started doing hair and hired a new assistant.  Fall came and now winter is coming and I’m happy to have Demetria back in the salon helping on occasional weekends.  I’ve missed her ridiculously.  She’s been on my brain lately.  She had been a good friend to me.  She also has never given me any shit.  She’s always had my back!  Taking on a new team has been fun, but challenging at times and today was a reminder of why I initially set out being a one-man show four years ago: I’m not always the best at promoting others.  Today I was reminded about that in a meeting with a staff member.  I was sad to hear that, but feel like there is much to do in an effort of building not only her clientele, but her self-esteem a bit.  What can I say?  For nearly ten years, I’ve been aboard the Josh train passenger of one?  It’s hard for me to clear off other seats when it’s been a solo gig for so long…

When Rosh Hashanah came this year, I was so happy to be welcoming new staff members and I still think I made a good a decision, but I have not had to mentor in a long time.  I remember when I started my internship program and I dismissed my first intern and later realized that he probably needed to be turned lose a bit earlier and then feeling guilty after.  A year or so went by and I saw him out and he told me he learned a lot from me.  I hope one day that my first stylist ever hired at the salon remembers how much I’ve pushed her in a positive light, not in a sad story.  Today it felt like we were on two different wave lengths.  I want so much to be on the same channel of communication with her.  I may have bit off a bit more than I expected by taking on a new stylist.  I’m so busy with my own life and clientele that sometimes building others becomes the furthest task on my mind.  I guess I figure that everyone was like me when I started: eager and smooth talking.

When I began doing hair, I was told by the owner of my first salon that she would NOT book me any clients and that I would have to FIND my own.  There was NO FACEBOOK to promote freely.  I remember handing out cards and writing my name on the back and asking people to come see me.  I remember asking everyone who did their hair and encouraged them to come see me.  If someone cut their hair, I offered color.  If someone colored their hair, I offered to do their brows or make-up. I was hungry for business! A year went by and I was not booked or making very much money. I remember going to advanced academy with American Crew and it all sunk in that I was NOT very good at cutting hair.  I was a visionary in the color department, but I did not understand the geometry of cutting or time management.  I remember re-enrolling in advanced academy with Toni & Guy and studying hairdressing and design ONLY. This + my education at American Crew took away my fear of fucking up a haircut and gave me ideas for consultations. At that point, I was set! I began pre-booking and showing my guests the products I was using and less than six months later, I was offered a job with CHI in Houston. (The rest is history as they say…)

Tonight, my mom and I went out to dinner and talked about my conversation with my stylist and my relationship at home.  I have been reminded that building others and building lasting relationships sometimes takes dropping your own ego and giving of yourself and of your time to others.  I haven’t really had to do that in the last few years.  I haven’t had to go “all in” since I opened the salon and I always tell people the first year was a fucking disaster! I would never go through that ever a-fucking-gain! I will do it differently next time.  More organized, more prepared. I sometimes feel like taking on a larger staff has made me see that maybe I’m not as good at communicating as I thought I once was.  That’s how I felt today.  I sipped a Crown & Coke and told my mom coyly, “but I’m really fucking trying, ya know, mom?”

My mom just chuckled and reminded me that she and I are very much the same person and she is the same way.  She told me tonight that when she goes home and vents and has these grand stories of chewing people’s asses and firing them, that mostly its just how she felt, not how it actually happened.  I think she would have been a great blogger. LOL

As I came home from eating chicken pot pie and buying unnecessary shit at Target, I looked at my Twitter feed and listened to Dean Martin’s Christmas album and thought to myself, “today wasn’t so bad.”  I learned a lot about myself once again.  I have to master the art of being a skillful communicator once again.  I think I’m getting rusty at sweet talking.  Maybe I’m not.  Maybe today was a day I was faced with a new situation and I didn’t know how to react OR maybe it’s a mix of both. What I do know is that talking to my mom really helped.  I needed her to listen and just give me some casual advice, nothing deep, casual is just enough.




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