Saturday, 26 December 2015 —
Today we went to The Klamm Shell. This little dive bar has been a Pueblo favorite for a long time. We entered through the side door. I was incredibly nervous! Miya reassured me that it was all right to walk through that door. I still felt uneasy… The building is old and run down and it is definitely a place you were probably taken as a neighborhood hang out or because someone invited you. I don’t know if I ever would have thought of going into the Klamm Shell by myself ever. I ordered a cheeseburger while Miya, Rob and Chris all ordered Mexican food. The waitress made some smart ass remark about me NOT being Mexican and brought me a Crown and Coke that did not happen to have a mL of Crown Royal in it. I liked my burger, believe it or not, but hated our waitress. She probably had a LONG holiday like most of us did so I’m not going to read too far into it. She may just be a naturally crusty person, who knows!
I came home tonight and began working on some stuff for the new year. I am kind of sad that Christmas was a melancholy affair this year. I had a good talk with my mom and Grandma on Christmas Day, but was greeted to a not-so-happy moment with my sister when I walked into my parent’s house on Christmas Eve. She feels wronged by me and I totally understand that. She’s my younger sister and all I can do is hope that she understands my feelings as I’m trying to understand hers. She asked me not to blog about her or any interactions between us, but the blog reflects my life. That’s all it is. It’s a day in my life. There are going to be some uncomfortable moments I write about. It doesn’t make her a bad person or even the villain, in FACT, I would always cast myself as the misunderstood villain in my own life. Villains are strong people. They don’t tend to get along with everyone and no one seems to understand them. Villains have a smarminess about them that make them funny. You either want to learn more about why the villain is who they are, or you don’t want to ever set your eyes on them. Adrian definitely didn’t want to see me this year and that’s ok. “Times heals all”, I’m told. I don’t know if there’s enough hours on my clock to heal it. I think its just time to move on. Things will settle down, they have to (I hope).
I came home and went through all my social media and unblocked a bunch of people and looked through some old files I had saved and contemplated deleting my Twitter. I am giving 2016 one more year to shape up online. I may just disconnect for a bit come this time next year, but then again, I always say that.
I have always told people to do two things at this time of the year:
#1. Start your NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS this week! The week of New Year’s Eve is great practice! Get used to living THIS WAY all year.
#2. Come January 1, give yourself one month’s time to see text messages and phone calls that come in for the first 30 days of the new year. These will be the people in your life ALL YEAR for the most part. They are going to change your mind and influence you for the next 11 months. I’m kind of excited for this. I’ve never been wrong about this philosophy. I’ve had clients and people that read my blogs tell me they’ve done this exercise and they see the truth in it.
As I changed my profile pic, I looked at my DVR and deleted programs I recorded and haven’t had a chance to watch. I just deleted like 16 episodes of network television I’ll probably NEVER watch. Why get started on that series now? I looked at my Pandora stations and deleted all of the Christmas music and stations I may have skipped over. Time to replace them and add some variety for 2016.
All of this came from looking at my Christmas and realizing my family is changing, our dynamic has changed. My mom and dad are getting older. They don’t take sides between my sister and I anymore, they just listen. My Guela has great stories and should be respected as any other 74 old deserves. Me and my sister are not children anymore so I wish we’d stop acting like it when we talk to one another. My partner and his family ARE MY family and dividing my time is something I never thought I would have to do, but its not so bad. Next year, I’d like to go to Vegas or rent a cabin in Breckinridge. I don’t want to be home for Christmas. Its time to evolve… I can feel it. 2016 is all about EVOLUTION.