a year in my life

Sunday Night Owl: Celebrating in my Sweats

Sunday, 3 January 2016 —

Getting ready this morning, I was felt incredibly light headed and lethargic.  My stomach has hurt for the last four days or so.  I am now convinced that I suffered from a bit of food poisoning.  As not to alarm anyone, I don’t talk freely about restaurants that served me food that may have caused the symptoms, but I do warn people to perhaps NOT order a certain item on the menu. Chris warned me and had a suspicion, I definitely have a clue as to what set my system off.  Nothing is working the way it should.  Not that you want to know about my poop schedule, but I am very regular in that department and it has been ugly.  I’ve thrown up a few times the past few days and today it was clear to me that I either had the flu or food poisoning.  I’ve had food poisoning before and am 90% sure that’s what it was.  I ate half a banana this morning and drank some water and couldn’t even finish my coffee.  Anyone that knows me, knows I have a very HEALTHY appetite and love eating (it’s a hobby really), so half a banana, water and about a quarter-cup of coffee are not normal menu portions for me.  Hopefully, I can snap out of this by tomorrow.  I’m tired of being uncomfortable.

After work, I went next door to The Senate and began going through my weekly paper work.  I had so much to do tonight as I added up the year-end total of retail, income and inventory.  Two years in a row, I hit my financial goal!  I am so glad that the salon is a success.  I sat there intently looking at the numbers and just shook my head in disbelief.  I am incredibly blessed and incredibly lucky.  As I finished my work, I moved over to the bar and began checking email.  My friend John came and sat by me and shortly before he had walked in, my first salon boss came in and said hello to me.  He wanted to shake my hand.  I said, “give me a hug”.  I remember being so close to him when I worked at my first salon and tonight, I felt like I was being forced to put on a facade.  My brain is so consumed with year-end numbers and trying to feel better internally that I just didn’t have the energy to be social (or fake for that matter).  I closed my ticket and left.  I knew when I left everyone knew I left because I didn’t want to sit awkwardly around my old boss.  I don’t hate the man, in fact, I’m slightly hurt that we didn’t stay good friends when I left the salon.  For me, I’m trying to enjoy the fact that I am living a dream and looking over at him made me remember how hard it was to break free and create this dream.  I just didn’t have the stamina to emote fakeness or small talk that would have led to no where. So I left. I have some Stella Artois at home.  They’re cold and I can drink in my sweats. No uncomfortable silences or fakeness in that.

I read my emails when I got home and began scrolling through Pinterest and dozed off for a few minutes while John Stamos’ sitcom “Grandfathered” played in the background.  My phone lit up with a couple of messages from my bubs.  I replied and closed my eyes again.  This time, the iPhone hit my chest.  I’m exhausted and I don’t even know why.  I’ve had so much time off the last two weeks! I shouldn’t be tired whatsoever! I think looking at the numbers and evaluating the months for the past year tore me up a bit.  I work ALOT.  People don’t realize that.  You have to admire and respect people that have a full hustle.  I have always been a hustler and will always work my ass off.  It’s not the work or the hours that make me tired, the paperwork puts me to sleep.  I want to celebrate and toast everyone, but seeing my old boss as I wanted to have this personal celebration just kind of deflated my sense of self tonight.  Without him, I wouldn’t have gotten my start.  I just wish he was the same guy I remembered.

It’s funny how things change, ya know?  Friends come and go.  Business endeavors change.  Business relationships change.  Tonight I felt like I was looking at an old business relationship, not my friend I used to have fun with.  Maybe it’s the food poisoning causing me to wallow a bit, but I don’t think so.  Tonight just didn’t feel authentic to me.  I came home, put on my sweats and celebrated silently.  A little nap and a sip of Stella ushered in the “cheers”.  2015 was a big year.  I’m glad it’s over and I’m thankful I’ve been able to profit from something I love to do.  I don’t have to toast to anyone except myself.  Coming home to the comfort of my couch was just what I needed.




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