Wednesday, 20 January 2016 —
Last night Chris and I fell asleep in the living room. I don’t ever know what brings on this tendency of NOT going to our bed. I woke up about 5am and there were cartoons playing on the TV. The alarm went off at 7am and I woke up just enough to shut it off and go lay back down on the couch. Before I knew it, 10am had come. This living room-sleeping business is not ever going to work. We need to get our lazy asses to our bed.
Friday night is my first comedy appearance of the year. There are so many things swirling in my brain at this time. I keep looking at last year’s material and love it so much. I hear myself talking to clients and want so much to talk about my family life and things that happen in the salon or things straight women tell gay men (because it’s all offensive). Tomorrow I’ll probably work on my set. I found that if I work on set TOO far ahead, the authenticity is completely gone. The day OF the event, I tend to make a bullet-point set list and run through it in the mirror and then do some meditation, run through it in the shower, put on my make-up, do my hair, pray and do it again in my head and then off to the venue. This has been my “method” of performing for quite some time. I’m very excited to be back at Andy Mac’s. I know that it’s all going to be a hit. Every single word will be a hit.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a tugging in my heart when it comes to comedy: I’m missing two people that inspired me. I miss Joan Rivers. Not only was she a comedy genius, she was a client. She was my most-famous client and I miss her immensely. I used to try to channel her and this year is different. I feel Joansie telling me to look to modern comics for inspiration. I meditate and feel her words, I feel her as my comedy godmother and listen so closely to her. She would want me to wear make-up and be fabulous, she would want me to still do old material inspired by her delivery, but she would want me to use my brain and write as well. I know she would. I’m also missing Wade. Wade moved a few months back and not having him here on Friday will be the first time I haven’t had him at one of my gigs ever! He is still working with us and 719 The Blocks is still producing shows. He still books the gigs and follows up with the comics. I miss my tall, suave, handsome friend. I miss his support and his loving-kindness. Wade has never said an ill word about a single human being; he is the polar opposite of me.
I read on Twitter today that Amy Schumar apparently stole some jokes or material and is using them as part of her sets. I don’t know if I believe all this nonsense and I’ll tell you why: when you blow up in ANY profession or art, people all compare themselves, their business and their material to yours. I think Amy is very clever. If she’s stealing, she should stop. I don’t think she is. Aziz Ansari says she isn’t. I’ve been reading his book and still need to watch his Netflix series. Chris D’Elia makes me laugh so much and his comedy wife Whitney Cummings is by far one of my favorite voices in comedy right now. I think Joansie is a fan of hers. She’s watching from the pearly Saks Fifth Avenue she now habitates. I don’t know what she’s say about Aziz. She’d probably bring up his race, ask him if he has sugar in his shoes, imply that he sucks dick or something offensive along those lines…
I greeted the morning to Thievery Corporation’s album “The Cosmic Game” and Instagrammed about that. Is this what we do now? Does this show the kids what we’re into now? I listen to ambient music and read books about Judaism and eat grass-fed butter? Okay…… It’s all such a waste of internet space, but I get caught in it like everyone else. I think Joansie would laugh at my Instagram and make fun of how stuck in the 90’s and early 2000s I am or call me a hipster or something.
Wannabe Beverly Hills Reality TV Trash sounds good to me. She would have loved the new Gucci wallet and Armani manbag I bought myself though. Those two things I won’t be instagramming.