a year in my life, comedy, controversy, Family, friends, gossip, spilling tea, sunday

Sunday Afternoon: No Bunnies, No Nightlife and No Apologies

Sunday, 27 March 2016 — Easter Sunday 

Today is Easter.  Well, let me correct his: today is Easter for most of the Christian world.  Its Sunday at my house.  I have been trying to drive that message home to my parents for a long time now.  I don’t have children, so the Easter Bunny and his fabrication do not visit us.  I don’t buy one chocolate bunny and Easter baskets are horrendous to me.  I don’t celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ today either, but I respect those that do.   For people that are not religious, there is something about Easter (just like Christmas) that tugs at their hearts.  They don’t go to church, but they get defensive about the meaning behind Easter and how it’s about Jesus, not a bunny.  So, to not piss them off, I don’t celebrate Easter.  Also, I’m not Christian, so it has no spiritual significance to me.  I said something along those line last week and my dad rolled his nose and made a weird, awkward disapproving sound. I didn’t react to it when we were at dinner, but I could tell that it didn’t sit well with him.  Years ago (as a teenager), my dad told me that we didn’t eat ham on Easter because he thought it was like slapping the Jews in the face on Easter.  Well, sadly, I had to correct, I mean, inform him, that Jews do not celebrate Easter.  He rolled his eyes and made that same sound then.  The times have not changed.  Anyway, this JewBu does not celebrate Easter and I think EVERYONE finally got the memo: no annoying gifs, no texts, no chocolate bunnies given to me.  Nothing. It’s probably the most peaceful year for me regarding this holiday because it’s the first time I haven’t been repeatedly annoyed by people asking “when did you convert? why did you convert? You don’t miss Easter?” — I converted for me, because I wanted to, and no I don’t.

Chris and I went out last night.  I was invited my client’s birthday party.  We all stood around and drank cocktails and ate Indian food.  It was an intimate group of people.  There were only a handful of us (Chris and I included) that were not doctors or doctor’s wives.  That was a very tame crowd, but very enjoyable.  I enjoy cocktail parties.  I kept looking over at Chris and he seemed to enjoy himself as well.  The cake came out and like two West Hollywood gays, we shared a piece.  (I don’t really care for sweets).  We left and said thank you to our hosts and headed to The Pirate’s Cove.  That lonely little bar had no music playing and the drinks were a bit weak to begin with.  I loaded the jukebox with $20 and we proceeded to make our interpretation of the gayest playlist on Earth.  Chris went outside to smoke and I sat at the bar texting him like we were roomies or something.  We decided a bottle of Crown and a bottle of sparkling moscato sounded like more fun at home so we ditched the sad scene at The Cove and headed home where we watched Mama’s Family online and fell asleep.  I have to say, this town needs a course on nightlife.  If your bar has no ambience (music, good drinks, lively bartenders) no one will stay… and if they do, they’re boring people that drink buckets of Bud Light (yuck!).  Not my scene at all.  We both wondered if the doctors were still at Mr. Tandoori getting sloshed.  I was determined to see one of them dance on table… (a cheap daydream only though).

One of my friends emailed me today to let me know that there’s yet another local “comedian” that thinks its alright to talk shit about me.  I saw her message and instantly felt like I needed to schedule drinks with her so we could shit talk about this gentlemen.  He’s old, he’s boring, he lives in an old boring little box called “Dan’s Life”.  I’m bored by gentlemen like him that make bigoted comments in the pursuit of cheap laughs and notoriety.  He brought up the video online from a year ago of me slapping a drunk bigot in a bar. Okay.  Is that all you got?  You don’t like gays?  You don’t like self-defense or don’t just plain like me?  Pick one, Dan.  Frankly, I’m bored by discussing last year.  I make jokes about it now because it didn’t break me.  I survived.  I’m successful.  I’m still booking comedy gigs and my blog is a hit. Get over it, people.  I did!

Chris and I were discussing some “life things” last night while were at the birthday party eating dinner.  He said something that really resonated with me about me withdrawing from teaching nationally for a haircare brand and staying cocooned within my own world in Pueblo.  He made some very educated observations about how I’ve planned out my career and it gave me a sigh of relief to know that if my 22-year old partner is getting it that the rest of the world is too.  Part of me wants to run off again and become the next Beth Minardi and leave a Vidal Sassoon-like legacy, but I don’t feel like my legacy is at all hair-world exclusive.  I need to write a book, I need to cash in on being a comedian and a comic writer.  I need a podcast of my own! All of my projects in my career were all fueled by my gift of gab and the way I relate to people.  Its time to zero back in on my mission.  Last year was tough, but I learned a lot.  My feelings are not easily hurt my strangers.  I’m a tough cookie! I’m a realist.  I know not everyone likes me and that’s okay, but I do know that people also love me and want me to succeed.  So that’s what I’m focused on.

This afternoon I called my mom.  Her voice sounded meek and sad.  I asked her if the Easter Bunny brought her anything.  She said he doesn’t visit her house.  I said, “he doesn’t even detour over here.”  She is sad that there are no little kids around to do the Easter egg thing. I rolled my eyes and tried to relate to her completely unrelatable emotion.  I wish she’d see the glass half full instead of focusing on the voids.  I don’t like anyone that has “less than” mentality.  They’re toxic people when they act like that.  My mom is not a toxic person so, please believe, this is not a good look on her.  The other thing is that I’m not going to have Easter dinner with my parents just to appease some unwarranted need to observe a holiday I simply don’t celebrate.  Her sadness will fade.  I think she and my dad should have booked some rooms and went on a trip.  Don’t stay at home and imagine grandchildren, it will only make the situation more sad.  I asked her to dinner tomorrow night.  That seemed to cheer her up. Maybe we’ll go watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 after or sometime this week.  It’s not like having grandkids, but it’s what I have to offer.  There’s more to me than a chocolate bunny.  A chocolate bunny has no meaning to me.



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