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Friday Morning: Eggplants and Emojis

Friday, 10 June 2016 —

Yesterday I woke up late for a meeting.  Well, I wasn’t exactly late.  I just wasn’t ready to be “on”.  I have contemplated joining a networking group.  I joined one about ten years ago when I was new in the industry and it all was very helpful and taught me a lot about business and forming connections.  I’m on the fence about committing myself to a group of people.  I remember really enjoying it though.  The one thing I can’t handle is that these meetings go past the hour allotment and it’s really not in my best interest to be sitting in meetings for much longer than that.  I start to fidget .  I start hating life.  I’m good about 40 minutes in and at the 45 minute mark, I’m anxious.  Maybe I’ll join and always leave early.  Maybe I’ll join and they’ll kick me out.  We’ll see…

This evening while Chris relaxed on the couch,  I binge-watched a ton of Live Madonna videos on YouTube.  I think people (especially young people) forget how incredibly talented that woman is!  She is probably one the single best live dancers on stage.  Her vocals are not always on point unless she’s really into the song.  I’ve noticed that when her energy is really high, her vocals are on point; however, when she overthinks the lyrics, she holds the notes for far too long and tries to sounds like she did when she was singing in the musical Evita.  Just be Madonna, Madonna.  We love Madonna. One particular video I watched for eight minutes straight was a video of her being a bitch and having diva moments which I found hilarious.  I can’t say there was once a moment where I couldn’t personally put myself in her shoes.  I’ve been called an egoist and a spoiled diva in my day and I get it now. I totally get why people say that!  I get why I’m a target of conversation and gossip.  Frankly, I think smart, opinionated people have more chatter surrounding them.  Most folks are threatened by someone that doesn’t follow rules, doesn’t care about winning or failing or really even looks for feedback to their creative or business process.  I think that’s Madonna to a tee.  I think that’s me to a tee.

This evening while I was sipping prosecco, one of my friends sent me a screen cap of a guy that “censored” a very nasty photo of him giving another guy fellatio by superimposing a popsicle over it and hash tagging #happynationalsexday.  We had a good banter about it and the whole time I looked at this “censored” (and not very well, mind you) photo, I felt sorry for this person . Why does he think he needs to call attention to himself by posting sexually explicit photos of himself on the internet?  I often wondered this about my former “friend”.  He constantly posted sex stories on Tumblr, shirtless photos and pictures of his ass all over his microblog.  He was so proud of his open whoreness, however, when it came to me seeing his content, he’d freak the fuck out!  He was very defensive when I would say, “oh yeah.  I saw that!” I thought he was a nasty slut looking for dick, personally.  I was often upset with his conduct and wanted to send the URL to his mother and watch her shit her pants.  Frankly, he needed a slap in the face.  He has moved on now and occasionally I look at his Tumblr page and have seen that he too has taken pictures of his private parts and “censored” them with a superimposed eggplant emoji.  What a sad little slut!  I’ve seen the “eggplant”, it’s not that big or that appetizing. 

In full need of not obsessing over the phishing-for-a-compliment tactics of social media gays, I sipped on my processo and decided to take a selfie.  My clothes were on and I did not need an emoji to cover anything private or scandalous.  I didn’t need photoshop, I didn’t need any validation really except my own.  I took a cute little photo with a champagne flute, perfect tan, good volume to my hair and cute little pink lips.  I would take THAT over anyone’s “eggplant” any day.

The truth is the world baffles me these days.  It’s a zoo out there on a normal day and then we have access to a social media zoo 24/7.  Not everyone’s content is very thrilling.  Believe me, I know!  I write a blog!  I see the ratings and the readership.  People will take the time to look at a nasty photo and share it over taking the time to read a well-drafted, edited written piece.  We’ve become very dumb.  We went in reverse!  The world of social media is polluted by “picture books” and less chapter books.  I always loved a good story.

Eggplants and misplaced emojis don’t thrill me.  Words make me happy.  Maybe, I’ll join the networking group and see if these folks understand by words and communication skills.  I doubt a shocking popsicle photo would bring me any business.  Maybe all folks posting nasty photos should learn what its like to communicate and do something “smart” instead of relying on their cheap shock tactics for attention.

Here’s to words!  Here’s to text!  (Time to delete my emoji keyboard.)



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