Saturday, 17 December 2016 — Shabbat
Tonight, I have a family Christmas dinner planned with my aunt, her sister, uncle, my mom and dad… possibly Chris. Chris sits out family events quite a bit. I don’t blame him. My mom and Chris haven’t classically gotten along in the past. I feel like things are getting better between the two of them, but if sitting absent is more comfortable, I respect that. I don’t particularly love it, but I respect it. For the past few years, we have started this tradition of going out to eat the Friday or Saturday before Christmas. I love the connection and the conversation. We’ve tried a few new restaurants in the process which has exposed my parents to a lot of new options in the Pueblo area.
One really cool thing about Marty and Brenda living here before we arrived was that they know all of the cool, old school places that are historic or raved about by locals. Sometimes the paint is so old in these places, you can read the age in the walls . It’s comforting. The dishes aren’t always fancy and that’s ok. The food has always been good, so we’re going to try a new place tonight. I checked out their Facebook page and it looks like they have a good down-home bar and the plating is not spectacular, but people rave about their food. I don’t think I’ll be wearing Armani tonight, but we’ll see. I don’t want to come to Christmas dinner looking like a slob either. If the restaurant serves our water in plastic tumblers though… that means I’m overdressed. Even if the Armani I’m wearing is a t-shirt.
Last night I had dinner with my good friend Elizabeth. We are into having dinner monthly these days. We’re both salon owners, we both have a lot of fun. Our conversations are wonderful: I talk, she listens. I told her to stop me if I make her ears bleed. I believe in my heart of hearts that she enjoys my company or we wouldn’t be breaking bread together. Frankly, making people laugh makes me happy. Lately, I feel very serious and caught up in my own brain. I really find it fucking annoying. There’s no way I can go into 2017 sulking in self-analyzation. I just can’t.
One thing I’ve evaluated in 2016 is the over seriousness of my own nature. At work, I’m a powerhouse. I border on seriousness and being funny. I have so much on my plate that I don’t know what the fuck to do most of the time. I feel pulled in sixteen directions all the time. I have also been more sick this year than any other. I had three Crohn’s flare-ups and a Bladder infection this year. I’ve suffered from dehydration and thrown up too many times after over drinking/eating more than ever as well. What a mess. What an absolute mess.
I’ve been bored to tears, angered to tears, been pissed at friends, lost friends, disconnected from people I’m close to and weathered the storm of returning back to public life. In 2017, there’s alot of changes coming: my diet has got to be more alkaline, the new love of drinking water all fucking day is a new way of life for me, telling people to leave me alone when I’m stressed is necessary and sometimes being brutally vocal and honest has got to take place. I have never held my tongue so much as I have the last two years and frankly, the last two years has been annoying and given me a head ache because I’m afraid to offend people. Who am I? I had balls once.
I’m such a pussy these days.
On the flip side, I’ve fired three clients this year: two were drunk when they came in, one bounced her second check to me. WTF, PEOPLE! All of these folks are power players in town as well. Do they think they’re above the rules of life? Rule #1 of life is this: Don’t be a fucking mess. Rule #2 is don’t be so entitled that people whisper “bitch” or the c-word behind your back. If folks are calling you nasty words, you probably ooze nastiness. Rule #3 should be for you to get off your goddamned phones. Really? Facebook is not going anywhere. Get off your phone. You can only check-in so much! The same people you’re tweeting would probably not even sit at a dinner table with you. You’re diluted and delusional if you think someone on the internet is your best friend. Gimme me a break. It’s time to lock the phones up in a cage and get back to writing letters and talking to people again.
Part of me feels like I’m reclaiming my power. It feels good. I really just want my salon to do well. I want this Label.m gig to continue to grow me and the brand in the industry. I want to be more active again publicly, I want to lose some weight and tone up and look kind of hot for a man under 5′ 5”. At midget-like height, you can’t gain 2 lbs! 2 pounds on me looks like Danny DeVito. No shade on Danny, but I’m a style maker. I’m a top colorist, I’m a blogger, I’m a speaker for a living. You have to be pretty. (If you’re pretty, you have to have an amazing personality!) My last few Facebook Live videos look bloody rough. I need to tan and quit eating carbs. I look horrible if you ask me.
I need a facelift.
First things first: I have to get out of my own head. My life is like my clothes, it doesn’t matter if the Armani is a button-up or a t-shirt, if it’s not pressed out and taken care of, it’ll just look a mess. I’m not a mess, believe me, but it’s time to get the iron out and press out some wrinkles in my life. 2017 is going to be well-laundered, if you ask me.