Wednesday, 12 April 2017 — Passover
Well, it has been an interesting three weeks. There’s been a fair share of frustrations, heart-to-hearts, all of it. It’s always mind-boggling to me to see how people live their lives and what decisions they make. The reason I bring this up is that Passover began Monday night.
There are so many significant Jewish holidays, my favorite being Rosh Hashanah because you get to start the new year and outline your goals. Yom Kippur sweeps in a week later and you know how your year is going to go. Theoretically, the Creator “seals” your year. Your fortune, your luck, your blessings, your entire year and all that it encompasses is sealed on Yom Kippur. Six months after that comes the beginning of the new Zodiac year with the month of Aries. Aries is a charismatic sign. It is a fire sign that demands attention and the desires of the world and the fortunes and favors of the world. Aries like to think to themselves as #bossbitches and when push comes to shove, an Aries will set the room on fire to make a point. They tend to be unreasonable and play people against one another in a scheme to manipulate anyone that they come into contact with: friends, family, spouses, you name it. All bets are off when an Aries’ ego is out of control.
To welcome Aries, we generally have the Holiday of Passover role in and wipe out traces of an old lifestyle or choice that binds us like shackles to the slavery of our attachments. I think it’s pretty brilliant that Passover is designed to land in Aries particularly because Aries tend to be materialistic as fuck and can’t let a bad habit die hard… or even die for that matter. They are the definition of “beating a dead horse”.
The old Bible story of Moses freeing the Hebrews and bringing the plagues to Pharaoh accompanies this holiday and we teach our children that slavery is bad. The true meaning behind this story is to release attachments and habits that define us in our minds. When something defines us and it is suddenly ripped away and we freak out, it’s not our souls dying or being sad, it’s our ego trapping us. Aries is an ego-driven sign. The Zodiac sign controls the energy for the month. It doesn’t matter that I’m a Virgo born in August, my Virgo tendencies are still there, but Aries will influence my month. For the next 28 days, Aries will pop its little head into my life (and yours) and menace things a bit. Anger is higher, fights are a high possibility and so is getting ahead in Aries. Aries is charismatic, remember that! So, while all the ego-fire-shit is going on, Passover swoops in and reminds us that the attachments of the world and our “naughty habits” are merely tools for failure. If you’re using your charisma and money and talents for the greater good, that’s wonderful, but the moment you begin to feel jealousy because someone is talking about another person in your career field or your family seems to favor this family member more than you, remember: that’s ego. The issue is INSIDE YOU. You’re feeding it. So don’t. Passover creates an energy in this season to surrender that ego and move forward into the Promised Land we are all so entitled to providing we have pure intentions and a good heart (not ego, not gossip, not salacious behavior).
I have been on a journey this past few weeks to have dinner and the occasional drink with friends that once wronged me. I have given them olive branches and talked a true talk. I pulled one friend aside and told her I was sorry for the horrible gossip and fighting and said, “if we can move forward, it can only be peace for both of us.” Slowly, but surely moving forward.
I had one friend I took to dinner and told her that I needed to silence the friendship for a time because I was tired of hearing “the noise” of her opinions upon opinions about my relationship, her horrible love life and our businesses. She and I talked, toasted and laughed and moved forward.
Last weekend, I was filmed (not of my knowledge) and placed on SnapChat for the world to see by an acquaintance. The video got so many likes and messages sent to multiple people saying they’ve missed me. They miss the comedy, they miss the appearances, they miss me talking and ranting and carrying on. Yesterday, Chris and I went to an obscure little bar in Bessemer and the bartender told me, “I know your name and your face. How do I know you?”
“Not sure.” I said and walked away.
The Aries in me wanted to blurt out: “I’m kinda famous.”
I sat down and continued with my day.
This past week has been nothing but folks asking where I’ve been and what I’m up to.
If you recall (just reading this very blog), I had some HORRIBLE PRESS two years go this month. It could have been life-shattering and in many ways it was! I lost a tremendous amount of friends and business connections and lost a ton of endorsement deals and still continued doing me. My business came in that year second in sales OF ALL TIME and I my popularity never stopped. In fact, the bad press created gaps for new opportunities, new clients, new friends. It created a filter.
A year ago, I was still kind of pissed. This past Rosh Hashanah, I accepted that 18 months later, it was alright. I had a new gig with Label.m, new friends, new hang outs in other cities, new opportunities and sent horrible friends and naysayers packing. If you’re not on #teamjosh, you’re not invited in my world. This wasn’t ego, this was necessary. It was a lesson.
Now, we fast-forward to this past Monday, Passover. I’m acceptant that things happen to good people and bad decisions are made by everyone. I’ve said sorry to individuals who were wronged. I have also thought about the past two years. It’s been an emotional struggle on personal level. My relationship is good, my relationship with my family is good, my business and my side-projects are all fairing well and I’m back at the gym, back in the social scene and focusing my energy on productive streams of interest.
I would say that the series of bad internet press in 2015 provided a way for me to begin an ego-cleaning. Last year, I had to accept that life had changed and now, two years later, I realize that a filter was needed. A cleansing was needed.
Fuck what people say about me! I’m doing me. Passover reminded me that I didn’t need the ego and the salaciousness. I will be just fine no matter what in all things I do. I’ve said goodbye to alot of good people and a lot of family members and my dynamics in each of my relationships has changed tremendously.
I don’t want to go back to how things were. I want to move forward into the Promised Land. The journey is not easy and I may not always like eating Bread of Shame and backtracking. Passover allows me to just move on. No more backtracking.
Time to move into my healed self. If you don’t get me, you simply don’t. Maybe I don’t understand you either. I don’t want to really. I want to be happy and if being happy means saying goodbye to you, then goodbye.