16 April 2017 — Easter Sunday, some people celebrate, I don’t.
So, today is Easter Sunday.
You know I gave up Easter years ago when I decided that my studies in Kabbalah and Judaism were to reign supreme. Who knew that Catholicism would rear its little head into my life through my actions and memories. Who knew that I’d still live with Catholic guilt and eat fish on Fridays on much as possible? In any sense, I don’t celebrate the Easter that most New Testament Bible readers do. There is also the holiday with the bunny and the eggs. All the pagan references to eggs and fertility usher-in Spring. Okay. I get it. It’s warm outside, people are horny, we start to eat salads again and drink white wine in observance of Summer arriving. I’m so bored with that.
Easter, for so many, ushers in the remembrance of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. This famed story and its many inadequate adaptions to film have made people religious on days like today and Christmas Day. Again, bored.
For some in the millennium, Easter has signified renewal and a new chapter. Jesus rising to the occasion of Messiah for so many inspires us to go onward and concur the new world, the new life as promised and seek better hope and keep the faith for future generations. Some even say Jesus has removed the pain of death so we will no longer agonize in its presence when we feel the Angel of Death close to us.
Death for so many means an ending… and it is. But from Death arrives a new chapter. If you do believe in the The Resurrection, then you believe that there is more to come. I know I do. Call it reincarnation, call it purgatory, call it The New Jerusalem. I call it, the next phase.
In 2010, I began a blog called “Pretty Boy Education” and for two years, folks read it. I left a job position as a salon manager, was infatuated with a boy I nicknamed “Panda” and grew up as a 20-something to finding independence. I began writing my column, “Haute Mess” and caused more controversy in print media. Awards came, another column came called “Living Fabulously”. Then, two years later, I ended the blog. People cried, people emailed. I went on to sign a lease to open a salon. (For re-reads of the whole blog, visit joshcooley.blogspot.com)
In April 2012, I opened salon, a week later, I began a new blog, the second chapter, if you will, of PBE called, “Pretty World, Fabulous Life// Inside Studio JRy”. The sequel was deeper and I found betrayal to be the theme of each entry. I found out about health issues in my family and showed angst sand depression and over-drinking in my blog posts. I was sad. I also won an award for Best Blogger and Best Local Blog twice for this particular writing project. The day after Christmas in 2014, I ended it abruptly. I was in love. I was free of particular exes and friends in my life and I was determined to share my love with you all. (For re-reads of the whole blog, visit studiojry.blogspot.com)
The year 2015 arrived to much sadness. I had gotten in a verbal fight with my mom two days into the new year. I was working on a lifestyle blog that would incorporate her input as a cooking authority. It never happened. I panned the idea and continued on with the webspace and created “LuxeLove by JRy”. I hired my friend Wade to create a logo and spend time and money getting this blog up and running.
As I was up to launch this blog, I had a series of bad press, bad social media, bad behavior provoked by haters, slurs against me, slurs against my partner who was now living with me and we had started a life together. Folks fell in love with the deep love story of me and Chris. Some hated us so much they began to send emails saying he was sending them texts with verbal slaughter or they had slept with him or that I had done them dirty. By August 2015, the blog was a HIT! The Pueblo Chieftain blacklisted me from The Best of Pueblo Awards and I was no longer eligible for nomination in the style or blogging categories. In fact, the blog category was REMOVED from the ballot and there was no write-in for me or any way I could win. So, fuck ’em. I kept writing! (I would have won a third year in a row too, bitches!)
The past four months I have written the blog and realized people are no longer interested in its whiny or mundane content. I often talk about Jewish holidays and Zodiac signs and deep-thinking brain materials that pass through my psyche. No one is interested. The ones that are, are very sweet. I’m not so impressed by the feedback anymore…. or even the title of the blog. “LuxeLove” couldn’t be any more inappropriate for it’s content.
The love I shared was genuine, but very few people were actually happy for me. Luxury is a term I coin as a something special. The words are most certainly special. “by JRy” no longer applies to me. One of my exes gave me the name JRy (Short for Joshua Ryan). I don’t even refer to my home as Studio JRy anymore. The days of JRy are done. They have been for some time. The love component is gone. I don’t wish to share that with anyone anymore. Wade and I haven’t spoken since he moved. So why look at the logo on this blog? You see where I’m going here? It’s time for a new chapter.
Just as a musical artist takes a break between albums to conceptualize their next musical masterpiece, I am now saying goodbye to to “LuxeLove by JRy”.
The death and resurrection I spoke of in the earlier paragraphs should have fore-warned you that this was coming: my next phase. I’m moving on to new projects. A new blog will come, a new title is on its way. It’s time to focus less on Jewish holidays and my love life and more about my experiences and my thoughts, of course. I am ready to move on from the salaciousness of my previous blogs and tell you in the most honest way why I live how I do and what I’ve been up to, but I don’t think luxury or love are in tune with what I am feeling anymore.
Those close to me always know I hint at things to come. I never tell anyone full-on what’s next because life is full of copycats. So, let’s just say, I’ve been working and it’s more appropriate for the times we’re living in together and most importantly the mental state I’m living in now.
If Jesus ever gave me anything, it wasn’t Easter Sunday or the promise of eternal life, it was that we can begin again no matter how badly people talk of us. We may be speaking the truth and sound like a heretic, but at least we were honest, faithful and accepted everyone in the process.
More to come, I promise, my loves. xo- j.